You remember what they used to say about E F Hutton?

Well, I've commented a couple of times here about how when I ask a question, I should know I might get an answer.

You see, Someone is always listening. Listening to me; listening to you! And is always ready to answer.

So ...

When I asked a few questions about trust, fear and trusting Him -- He decided to get involved in answering those questions. I should have known He would.

He's done it so many times before. And this time the questions involved Him. Why wouldn't He be interested in the answers I came up with?

So, He led me to five weeks of Laity Classes at one of the "local" Seminaries (about an hour and a quarter drive away). Both classes taught me so much and tackled the questions that were on my mind; even though the titles of the classes didn't seem like they were directly related to the questions.

One class was a historical look at the title "Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews" that Pilate had sarcastically ordered nailed to the top of the cross where Jesus was crucified. What did that title mean to the "players" of the story?

Doesn't sound like that would really tackle the issue of trusting God, does it?

The other class was about "Are We Following Jesus?" and I expected it to be about the social gospel, social-side of gospel, and living "missionally." And we covered a wide variety of topics from war, to materialism, to evolution, to evangelism versus proselytizing and more. Again, I did not expect my questions to be answered here.

I've been struggling with the "definition" of Christian that is the popular one and the "proper" one.

The popular one, the one in the culture outside the right-wing evangelical church, is the one that says "hate-mongering, homo-phobe, holier-than-thou, hypocrite who condemns everyone who doesn't agree with them." The proper one, the one inside the right-wing evangelical church, is the one that says "saved by grace alone, but you better behave and vote this certain way or you'll go to hell, even if you have said the 'Father forgive me, I accept Jesus' prayer."

Neither one of the seems to be true. And I've formulated opinions about what I think it means to be a Christian, what it means to be "saved," and what I believe it takes to be "saved." But, I've been formulating these ideas sort of on my own, sort of in the dark -- as a reaction against those things I do not agree with. But not sure if I am on the right track or not.

I've had a general sense of what it means.

In these two classes, I discovered more than a sense but the words that describe these things I've been feeling and thinking. And I am so happy that my "threat" won't have to be carried out! Oh yes, a threat!

One day a few years ago, I discovered that I was so distressed by the legalism and negative nature of so much that is called "Christian" that I prayed to God, "If 'They' are right, I don't want to continue as a 'Christian!' I'd rather go be a Buddhist."

In the intervening time, I was pretty sure that I was not going to go become a Buddhist. For one thing, I saw a Bill Moyers interview with a woman who is a Buddhist nun (I'm sorry, I've forgotten her name); I was surprised at the self-centered nature of Buddhism. But I was also fairly certain that Christianity was not those things that distressed me so much.

Defining what something is not does not always define what it is, though.

I've tried to put it into words. I've come pretty close to getting the thoughts down clearly and concisely and succinctly. And I felt I was finally figuring out what it really is about. But there was still this hesitation.

Why?

Was it just procrastination?


Was it the devil trying to waylay me along the road to keep me from articulating it?

Was there something missing from the puzzle picture?

Why couldn't I seem to get the words right, to be clear? Maybe it was because it still wasn't clear to me.

But now --

WOW!

"It" is so amazing, so astonishing, so astounding, remarkable, wonderful, mind-boggling, mind-blowing, wonderful, marvelous and miraculous -- that even Roget's can't help me gush enough!

It is ALL about the extravagant, radical nature of God. It is all about the all-encompassing love of God. It is all about the fact that "God was meeting us in some profound passion in our greatest need" (from my class notes).

It's ALL about Him. It is not about us.

"It" is trusting and resting in His grace and mercy. That is all that we must do. Trust Him.

Need I say more?

8 Random Things Meme -- I was tagged ...

Patricia, over at Readin' N Writin' With Patricia tagged me for the "8 Random Things" meme. First, I relay the rules of the meme; so, here they are:

** Players offer eight random habits/facts about themselves.
** If you're tagged, write your own blog about your eight things and post these rules.
** At the end of your blog post, choose someone to tag (supposed to be eight but however many you can do is fine, no tag police will come get you) - and list their names.
(and not mentioned in that list, but it might not be a bad idea, let each of them know you've tagged them.)

Now, for the list of random things about me:

Just eight?

1) I'm taking two Laity courses at one of the seminaries within commuting distance; everyone keeps asking me if I'm a regular student there. Years ago I worked as a church secretary and the pastor occasionally teased me and asked when I was going to seminary. Well, I'm "sort of" there but right now, I'm fairly certain that my calling is not into pastoral ministry. What it is, I don't know. But I'm pretty sure it is not that.

2) Keeping with Patricia's food-related items in her list: I had two oatmeal cookies for breakfast, during the cookie break in the early class. **snicker** They was really good. Maybe not as healthy as a bowl of oatmeal by itself but much tastier! LOL.

3) I just spent an awesome weekend at a regional retreat/gathering for the direct sales business I'm in selling rubber stamps and scrapbook supplies. We had 25 totally wonderful projects (except for the ultra-fine glitter which I somehow manage to get into my eyes in the following six months after using it for two minutes -- it just seems to cling to me even after a gazillion showers. Might be a "static" thing, I dunno.) We did trades -- everyone that participated made gorgeous cards except me. I cheated and stamped on Avery address labels, wrapped them around Hershey's chocolate "Nuggets." Got away with it because just about everyone loves chocolate.

4) I'm signed up for sessions of the eMuse Muse It Up Writers' Conference on-line this week. It started today and I'm already way behind.

5) And I'm starting a "Blogger Bootcamp" for people in the rubber stamp direct sales business tomorrow (oops, probably tonight by now) night. Do you think I might need a secretary to schedule my time for me in a more even-keeled manner? LOL.

6) I've won some books recently. WOO HOO!!! And as soon as I receive them, I plan to read them. And then I will probably turn around and pass them on through one of my blogs; "pay it forward" as they say.

7) Have you ever wondered who "they" are? I've decided that "they" are the same little guys that live inside concrete blocks that chew bubble gum and blow bubbles just as you paint over it, creating the irregular surface. (Um, honest, it was my college roommate who "invented" the little people of the concrete blocks -- I've just co-opted them to become the "scapegoats" of all things "they" related.)

8) But, I will admit to telling tall tales and attempting to get people to believe me. Like, did you know it is fattening to just breathe? Yeah, it is. Scientists (from the Committee of They, I'm sure) have discovered that due to particles in the air (say, of dust, dirt, pollen, etc.) that every breath of air adds minuscule micrograms to our weight when those particles become lodged in the lungs. Also, air pollution has been found to be caloric in nature.

Now, I am supposed to tag eight people. Hmmm ...
I think I will come back and edit the post to add them in the next day or two ...

Dance Like No One Is Looking -- Chances Are No One Is!

It has been a while since I wrote a post for this blog.

Since I posted about "My Blog Lesson" (parts One, Two and Three) -- well, the learning goes on. :-)

I hadn't really "forgotten" but hadn't fully remembered either -- when I ask a question, God tends to send me answers. Or maybe I just hadn't considered this to be one of those questions He would take the time to answer.

Well, DUH!

It's a question about Him, His goodness, His mercy, His trustworthiness. DUH! Of course, He is going to be very interested in the answers I come up with for these questions.

I'm actually chuckling to myself as I type that.

At some point in life we tend to get (well, I did, and I think a number of other people are in the same boat with me -- and it is a Titanic boat, huge, lots and lots of people, and no where near enough lifeboats, life rafts, or life preservers) the idea that God is "out there, higher, distant, not here." He is abstract and not concrete. He is ether not substance. He is as invisible as the wind and seeing Him at work is sometimes harder to see than the effect of the unseen wind.

Well, it was an odd little set of "coincidences" (mostly what I call "Internet click-path") that led me to a website of a semi-local (i.e. within a not too horrible of a commute of a drive) seminary. I was really looking for information on schools and programs of study for my husband who needs to get out of the dead-end, sure-to-be-laid-off-from-soon factory job that he has.

Instead, I found some non-credit laity courses. Ones that are at times I can attend while he is at work. Ones that interested me a lot. Ones that were inexpensive enough that I could afford them.

So, with 8 days until the classes started, I signed up right then and there.

Now, there are those who would tell me I should have:
(1) prayed about it to be sure it was God's will for me to do this; and,
(2) asked my husband for his opinion and followed his advice.

But ...

I did neither.

And I was beginning to feel maybe I had done something wrong by not at least praying about it first. But I had already hit the "enroll" button, included the payment info and had received the return e-mail telling me the request would be processed as soon as possible.

I felt sort of guilty all week that maybe I had been wrong to do this in such a spontaneous way. (Maybe I was feeling guilty about spending the money -- though the classes are inexpensive, I used money to pay for them that I should have set aside to pay upcoming bills ...)

Well, it is week three now of those classes. And the two classes I am taking now are answering the questions. The next set, I am sure, will continue to answer them!

Last Monday, one of the two classes I signed up for had homework -- to read the Gospel of Mark.

To be honest, I didn't get my homework done.

All I had to do was read.

What did I do? I got out a notebook, pen and Bible. Settled in at Caribou Coffee (where I had gone between classes, hoping to be able to use the WiFi and get some other writing done), opened up my Bible and started reading and making notes. After three hours, I had gotten through a sandwich from the bagel place next door and chapter one. And I had five pages of notes.

I had to get back to the campus for the evening class, so I put the notebook, pen and Bible away intending to return to the homework when I got home last Monday night. Intended to but ... (that's "a nuther whole" story in itself!)

One of the things that I noticed as I read that first chapter of Mark was the response of Simon, Andrew, James and John to Jesus' call. "Straightway," the King James translation says, or "immediately" another translation says, they followed Him.

Did Simon go home to his wife and say, "Honey, what would you say if I told you I was asked to become a disciple of a Rabbi?"

Did James ask his father, "Can I go?"

Did Andrew stop to pray about it?

No, they just went.

And the guilt, which had almost completely vanished anyway long before I got home after the first Monday of classes, flitted away completely. These two classes are excellent; and if, while I was growing up, I had heard preaching like the teaching in these two classes -- wow! I wouldn't have the questions and conflicts that I am trying to overcome.

Faith is not belief -- it is trust.

Simple enough statement. But powerful.

One of the two teachers likened it to the "trust" we have in water when we go swimming. We trust it to hold us up. And it does. Just lay back in it and be held up by it.

Our beliefs do not save us; neither do our doubts condemn us. While our works do not save us, we are created to do good works; for we are free of the Law and free to do good things without fear.

Fear is the opposite of faith.

Back to the swimming analogy -- I can float on my back and I love it. Swim? I don't like to do it and say that I can't swim. I can swim but ... (a) I splash a lot when I do and get embarrassed by that (I've told you're not supposed to make big splashes when you swim, if you do, you're not doing it right); (b) I don't like to get water in my ears, it makes them hurt if I don't get it all out again (which somehow doesn't seem to be a problem when I float on my back); (c) and, I tend to hold my nose with my fingers rather than just hold my breath.

Now, they're all things about me and swimming from when I was about 10 years old. More than 25 years have gone by since then, but I've not tried to swim since. When in the water , I float on my back or sit on the bottom and let the water come up to my chin or if I'm in a pool, I cling to the edge so I don't get in over my head.

What can I learn from that?

Well, maybe it is similar to my attitude toward God. I'm not sure, but there might be a similarity.

It can, and does, hold me up. But it can "hurt" me too. So, I'm "careful" -- overly so, according to my husband -- when I am around it. And my awkwardness is embarrassing and so that makes me careful in other ways -- so I don't draw attention to myself.

Thing about "drawing attention to myself" and being embarrassed -- it reminds me of a birthday card I saw and didn't buy (though I wish I had).

It said, "Dance like no one is watching." That was the outside. Inside it said, "Probably no one is anyhow."

No one cares what I say or do enough to watch me like that. And there is One who does watch me that close, but He doesn't laugh at my foibles, He doesn't set me up to fall for His amusement, He doesn't care if I splash when I make my swimming strokes. He loves me -- JUST AS I AM!

WOW!

Well, sorry this post is this long (again) and doesn't have one nice neat salient point to it. Just an update of sorts with a few observations ...

Thanks for stopping by and God bless! Stop back soon!