It has been a while since I wrote a post for this blog.
Since I posted about "My Blog Lesson" (parts One, Two and Three) -- well, the learning goes on. :-)
I hadn't really "forgotten" but hadn't fully remembered either -- when I ask a question, God tends to send me answers. Or maybe I just hadn't considered this to be one of those questions He would take the time to answer.
Well, DUH!
It's a question about Him, His goodness, His mercy, His trustworthiness. DUH! Of course, He is going to be very interested in the answers I come up with for these questions.
I'm actually chuckling to myself as I type that.
At some point in life we tend to get (well, I did, and I think a number of other people are in the same boat with me -- and it is a Titanic boat, huge, lots and lots of people, and no where near enough lifeboats, life rafts, or life preservers) the idea that God is "out there, higher, distant, not here." He is abstract and not concrete. He is ether not substance. He is as invisible as the wind and seeing Him at work is sometimes harder to see than the effect of the unseen wind.
Well, it was an odd little set of "coincidences" (mostly what I call "Internet click-path") that led me to a website of a semi-local (i.e. within a not too horrible of a commute of a drive) seminary. I was really looking for information on schools and programs of study for my husband who needs to get out of the dead-end, sure-to-be-laid-off-from-soon factory job that he has.
Instead, I found some non-credit laity courses. Ones that are at times I can attend while he is at work. Ones that interested me a lot. Ones that were inexpensive enough that I could afford them.
So, with 8 days until the classes started, I signed up right then and there.
Now, there are those who would tell me I should have:
(1) prayed about it to be sure it was God's will for me to do this; and,
(2) asked my husband for his opinion and followed his advice.
But ...
I did neither.
And I was beginning to feel maybe I had done something wrong by not at least praying about it first. But I had already hit the "enroll" button, included the payment info and had received the return e-mail telling me the request would be processed as soon as possible.
I felt sort of guilty all week that maybe I had been wrong to do this in such a spontaneous way. (Maybe I was feeling guilty about spending the money -- though the classes are inexpensive, I used money to pay for them that I should have set aside to pay upcoming bills ...)
Well, it is week three now of those classes. And the two classes I am taking now are answering the questions. The next set, I am sure, will continue to answer them!
Last Monday, one of the two classes I signed up for had homework -- to read the Gospel of Mark.
To be honest, I didn't get my homework done.
All I had to do was read.
What did I do? I got out a notebook, pen and Bible. Settled in at Caribou Coffee (where I had gone between classes, hoping to be able to use the WiFi and get some other writing done), opened up my Bible and started reading and making notes. After three hours, I had gotten through a sandwich from the bagel place next door and chapter one. And I had five pages of notes.
I had to get back to the campus for the evening class, so I put the notebook, pen and Bible away intending to return to the homework when I got home last Monday night. Intended to but ... (that's "a nuther whole" story in itself!)
One of the things that I noticed as I read that first chapter of Mark was the response of Simon, Andrew, James and John to Jesus' call. "Straightway," the King James translation says, or "immediately" another translation says, they followed Him.
Did Simon go home to his wife and say, "Honey, what would you say if I told you I was asked to become a disciple of a Rabbi?"
Did James ask his father, "Can I go?"
Did Andrew stop to pray about it?
No, they just went.
And the guilt, which had almost completely vanished anyway long before I got home after the first Monday of classes, flitted away completely. These two classes are excellent; and if, while I was growing up, I had heard preaching like the teaching in these two classes -- wow! I wouldn't have the questions and conflicts that I am trying to overcome.
Faith is not belief -- it is trust.
Simple enough statement. But powerful.
One of the two teachers likened it to the "trust" we have in water when we go swimming. We trust it to hold us up. And it does. Just lay back in it and be held up by it.
Our beliefs do not save us; neither do our doubts condemn us. While our works do not save us, we are created to do good works; for we are free of the Law and free to do good things without fear.
Fear is the opposite of faith.
Back to the swimming analogy -- I can float on my back and I love it. Swim? I don't like to do it and say that I can't swim. I can swim but ... (a) I splash a lot when I do and get embarrassed by that (I've told you're not supposed to make big splashes when you swim, if you do, you're not doing it right); (b) I don't like to get water in my ears, it makes them hurt if I don't get it all out again (which somehow doesn't seem to be a problem when I float on my back); (c) and, I tend to hold my nose with my fingers rather than just hold my breath.
Now, they're all things about me and swimming from when I was about 10 years old. More than 25 years have gone by since then, but I've not tried to swim since. When in the water , I float on my back or sit on the bottom and let the water come up to my chin or if I'm in a pool, I cling to the edge so I don't get in over my head.
What can I learn from that?
Well, maybe it is similar to my attitude toward God. I'm not sure, but there might be a similarity.
It can, and does, hold me up. But it can "hurt" me too. So, I'm "careful" -- overly so, according to my husband -- when I am around it. And my awkwardness is embarrassing and so that makes me careful in other ways -- so I don't draw attention to myself.
Thing about "drawing attention to myself" and being embarrassed -- it reminds me of a birthday card I saw and didn't buy (though I wish I had).
It said, "Dance like no one is watching." That was the outside. Inside it said, "Probably no one is anyhow."
No one cares what I say or do enough to watch me like that. And there is One who does watch me that close, but He doesn't laugh at my foibles, He doesn't set me up to fall for His amusement, He doesn't care if I splash when I make my swimming strokes. He loves me -- JUST AS I AM!
WOW!
Well, sorry this post is this long (again) and doesn't have one nice neat salient point to it. Just an update of sorts with a few observations ...
Thanks for stopping by and God bless! Stop back soon!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Suse:
What an interesting post! You have so many, I wasn't sure which one to go to but I really liked this blog.
BTW, you've been tagged for 8 random things. Check out my blog for details.
PatriciaW
Post a Comment